Unrelenting tears
by doujinshininjah
Summary: Spamano, no lemon sorry. I just like the world meeting as a setting I guess. One-shot.


The list of things Lovino hated grew on a daily basis but world meetings were definitely at the top somewhere. They cut into his schedule, because he had a lot of super important things to do. Like drinking, or cooking something he wasn't good at making and then drinking, or maybe sleeping. Yeah, sleeping is very important. What? He's Italian, sleep is a serious thing. Anyway… He was glad this meeting was finally over. Things like things like this weren't his strong suit at all but he figured someone had to do it, because his dumbass of a brother obviously was too busy undressing Germany with his eyes. Their relationship was odd, and slightly disgusting, but he believed under his exterior that everyone deserved to be happy in love. Not that he needed anything like that, but it would have been nice if it would have come somewhat earlier. Like when he still believed someone could still love him.

"Oi! Lovi! Wait!" He flinched. He was hoping that particular voice wouldn't follow him out of the conference room. Too bad, so long, game over for you Lovino. He straightened the papers in his binder before turning to regard the other. It was impolite to ignore people, even if they did annoy the crap out of you.

"Yes Spain?"

"Did you happen to take notes when Britain and Switzerland went up to speak?"

"Si, why?"

"Well… I sort of drifted off… just for moment though I swear!" Lovino rolled his eyes. Why was Spain such an idiot?

"And you think I should reward your idiocy by helping you gain the knowledge you so daftly fell asleep through?" Spain gulped, a sheepish but rather cute smile showing through his obviously embarrassed demeanor. He couldn't say no to that smile, and Spain knew it. Damn him for being so charming and attractive.

"Lo siento…"

"Fine, but only this once idiota. Come on, back to my room. I'm not staying around here so we can exchange information around a bunch of prying eyes." Spain nodded happily, following the younger down the hall to the room he was assigned. Once there, he unlocked the door and tossed his binder of notes on the desk. He flipped it open to find the notes Spain needed and lay them out on the desk for him. "Take what you need from them. I'll be right back." Spain did as he was commanded and Lovino came back in only a t-shirt and his short boxers. The Spainiard tucked the notes he took into his pocket before glancing at Lovino with his face taken aback. "Did you get what you needed?" He nodded.

"Si… I-I…" Lovino rolled his eyes.

"What is it idiota? Why are you gaping at me like that?" Spain looked away shyly.

"Lo siento, Lovi. I didn't mean to stare… it's just that…" Lovino shook his head.

"Don't say it. We agreed to leave that in the past." Spain really couldn't help himself, though. Seeing Lovino as beautiful as he had always been, so precious as the day they had been trying to forget. Spain didn't _want _to forget, and that was his problem. It was the light of his memory.

I should explain.

Back when Spain was a pirate, he didn't care about many things. He nearly obliterated South America when he was not but twenty years of age. In his height of glory, he could have lost all his wars and still been the richest man alive. He could have cared less about anything… except Lovino. The Italian was only fifteen, and Spain couldn't control his heart. It beat so for his ward, and the other nations looked down on relationships with other nations, especially nations so young. But he couldn't stop the way the sun took to his hazel eyes and made them light like fire, or the way the afternoon glow casted from the windows made his skin shine. He tried, for two years, to court him properly but Lovino wouldn't have it without the approval of his grandfather and the church.

Back then, Lovino was rather religious and Antonio knew the church would never approve of them together, so he created a deal between them. Spain offered that if Lovino would just give him his virginity, he would lay off of his feelings forever. There would be no more talk of love or lust, no offers of marriage or elaborate courtship gifts, just a master and his servant like a normal agreement. Lovino, ever so young and naïve, took the deal hesitantly and let that scene unfold for itself. Truth be told by him, he had always though Spain was attractive physically, but what he had really always admired was the fact that no matter how much money or time Lovino demanded… Spain would stop at nothing to keep him happy.

The night Spain got his wish, he had hoped his crush was only a desire of the flesh. Then things would go back to normal and things would work out the way it had been planned in the first place. Sadly, and just like many of his heroes before him, his body betrayed his mind. His want and love only grew stronger with every moment they spent together. He would have counted the seconds he longed for Lovino's heart, but their deal forbid it. Since Lovino and his brother became independent, Spain hadn't said a word and it was killing him slowly inside. The Italian was all that he longed for, the only thing that made his life seem bearable anymore. Not even his friends made him smile for real anymore.

But Lovino… Lovino made him feel alive. Like a normal person. He made Spain's heart race, his mouth drool, his muscles tighten and his stomach flip. His love tore him apart from the inside and the only thing keeping him together on the outside was the hope that someday Lovino would love him back. If only he knew what his Italian thought of him, what he could do to win him over? He would do anything. But back to the scene at hand…

"Please, just let me live in that moment." The bitter-sweet tones in his voice reminded Lovino of the tear he saw on Spain's face when he left for his own country after becoming independent. He wanted to hear Spain in his usual demeanor, happy and filled with nothing but the joy of being alive. This tone spoke to him of a broken heart, a crack in the shell, a piece of the soul that had long since been missing. Lovino turned away and then to the window.

"I already did. Ten years ago." Spain sighed.

"I know… Lo Siento Lovi." Lovino closed his eyes, trying to rid himself of certain thoughts. "Lo siento for this as well." Before a question could be put out in the open, Lovino turned around and was met with a tender kiss from the other. It was sweet and Lovino felt himself melt into it and almost kiss back, if it hadn't been for Spain ending it prematurely.

"What was that for?" Spain shrugged.

"Because I know you'll never let it happen again." Lovino was so tired of this side of Spain. It filled him with grief and longing for his smile. This was probably the biggest mistake he'd ever make with Spain, and he knew there would be a slight temporary regret, but this was for his own good.

"Alright… You know what Antonio? I'm tired of this… this… charade. This isn't you. It's really fucking with my mind and I'm sick of it." Spain blinked. "Sit down."

"Why?" Spain took a seat on the edge of Lovino's bed.

"Shut up. Now, I don't want a big reaction, but you need to listen." Spain wondered what this was about. Could it be he was breaking off their friendship finally? "Since I've known you Antonio…" It was like a dream hearing his name from Lovino's lips. "I've loved you. I've laid wide awake for weeks on end thinking about how long I could keep myself hidden, but I knew I couldn't stay hidden forever." This confession would have taken Spain's breath away, if it hadn't been for the fact that Lovino avoided his gaze by staring out the window as he spoke. "I didn't ever want to tell you this. In fact, I hope you'll forget it. I hate myself for this, and I know it's just a serious case of Stockholm Syndrome… but I thought I needed to tell you before your griping drug me down further. I can't stand the sight of it you know… you being so sad." He pursed his lips for a moment, looking back at Spain with his own very apparent pain no longer hidden in his eyes.

"I don't believe you." Shocked by this, a tear that had kept itself at bay for years finally let itself be seen.

"W-What?" Spain shook his head.

"You have rebuffed all the affection I've ever given you, and it's just now that you choose to confess? I think this is to get me off your back, not because you actually love me." Lovino looked away.

"I knew it was a bad idea to tell you. I thought maybe you could love me back after this…but I see it was a mistake now."

"Lovino, how in the world could you love me back? I've been telling you how much I love you and showing you that in every possible way, nobody could keep love like mine hidden so well. Especially not you, because I know you, and you would've had a breakdown before…" Lovino laughed bitterly before standing and collecting the forgotten the notes.

"You know now, so what is the point? This time my barriers won't let anything in." Spain stood.

"Why didn't you tell me when you broke down about it?"

"It doesn't matter-"

"Why didn't you just admit it to me?"

"It's not a big deal-"

"Dammnit Lovino why didn't you just-"

"The only reason I didn't tell you was because of the others! They told me it would never last! They told me you were in love with someone else and toying with me!" He had burst into tears at this point, his breathing short and uneven with the added tears flowing so hard they'd started to create a small puddle below his feet. "I didn't want to get my hopes up again! Besides, who could love me? You said it yourself back when I was only five years old, nobody has the patience to take care of me!" Spain blinked. He remembered saying that, but was never aware Lovino could have overheard him.

"But Lovi-"

"Don't call me that! I don't know you anymore! Leave!" Spain moved closer to hug him, fighting the flurry of assault punches and hits that battered the hell out of his chest and arms until the Italian was reduced to only loud sobs and tears that stained his uniform. He wouldn't let this opportunity slip through his fingers again. "Just… stop. You don't… love me…"

"I never said that. I said you were a handful, yes, I said nobody had the patience to deal with you, yes. But I also said that not only were you the light of my young life, but I would learn as much patience as I needed to because you made my life worth living." Spain smiled. "Do you remember when I fought Turkey?" Lovino sniffled before looking up at him with emotion worn eyes.

"Si…"

"Even though we didn't really fight at all, heh. Do you remember what I said to you?" Lovino re-buried himself in Spain's chest. "I said you were my special, and I meant it. You were and still are my entire world. I need nothing more than you and your attention to keep me happy." He let go of Lovino and kneeled down, taking the other's hands in his own. "If you'll give me your love, I promise you that you'll want for nothing. I'll give you anything and everything you could ever desire." Lovino bit back tears again. "Just give me one chance to show you that love goes beyond the body." Lovino fell to his knees as well and hugged his former boss.

"If it means you never have to leave me alone again, I'll do anything." He started to sob again, but Spain pulled him away to wipe the tears off of his face.

"Hey now, no more tears okay? Crying is for Germans." Spain had nothing against Germany, but he knew it would make Romano smile to hear that. The Italian smiled, an awkward laugh straining through the frown he tried to keep on his lips. "Now, I believe it's lunch time so why don't we head out and get something to eat before the rest of the meeting?" Romano nodded and they stood, Romano cleaning up his face and returning to his signature scowl before getting dressed again. He felt a little ashamed and shy now that Spain had seen his emotional side, but he also figured that at least one person knowing your true personality was probably a good thing. Now without fear of judgement, he could cry and smile and throw a tantrum whenever he wanted. Spain gave him that freedom.


End file.
